Review of Aquaman (2018) by Viroodiem — 10 Feb 2019

It manages to do what I thought were not possible and edges out Wonder Woman as the worst DC film made.

Calling it a DC film is the primary misnomer. It effectively isn't. What it genuinely is, is a Disney movie with out of place murders, profanity and even honest to God Disney Easter eggs buried within. Such as the Goofy "Whaahahahooey" falling scream and referencing the Disney film Pinocchio. It goes shot for shot emulating tried and true Disney formulas and constantly tries to allude to Disney through the whole overly drawn out affair. It takes the worst elements of Disney super hero films and produces a bland wannabe copy absent anything resembling artistic integrity. Its big budget Hollywood summer blockbuster schlock, released in the winter.

Even if you can get past the Disney fan service, the film is simply not good. A ridiculous and forever irredeemable character, a sad rogues gallery, tired plot riddled with errors and outright lack of thought, devoid of originality or anything thought provoking. It spends its run time trying so hard to over the top itself with its extensive overly neon CGI that it feels like the illegitimate love child of a B list MCU character and a Fast and furious film. Which to no surprise its Director was previously involved in the F&F franchise.

I give WB kudos however for resisting the urge to pull another Disney trope and have either licensed or got the rights to contemporize the 1968 song "I want to marry a light house keeper" for the sound track.

This film is so bad that it actually manages to set the whole genre of superhero films back and that is with how much damage Disney has already done to any legitimacy in film that super hero films like Blade, Logan and Deadpool were actually able to muster.