Review of Blonde (2022) by Danimet — 23 Oct 2022

So much has been written about the problems with this movie so I'll just summarize my take on it with three brief points:

1. The movie is excruciatingly slow and boring and, somehow, I assure you, it manages to have content that will annoy and bore almost anyone, no matter your political or personal beliefs regarding the subjects it touches. If you're looking for entertainment, this is not it. Save the more than 160 minutes it will take you to watch this movie for a couple of other shorter but more entertaining movies.

2. The movie was obviously made by a man/men (Andrew Dominik, Brad Pitt, etc) with a longing nostalgia for Monroe's movies but who wishes they'd have seen her much more objectified and getting assaulted repeatedly in said movies (I mean, even the movie's aspect ratio signifies this nostalgic longing). All else, including all the elements inserted into the film to make it seem "artistic", are merely inserted into it to hide and justify the latter end. Despite its focus on the distasteful objectification and assault of Monroe though, it still will not manage to satisfy those that go into the movie looking for such kinds of content because of how much Dominik and his crew tried to hide this content with all the other material. Also, Dominik and/or the producers are obviously staunch anti-abortionists and so they used the movie as a vehicle for their anti-abortionist beliefs.

3. Anna de Armas was perfect for the role. She did all that could be done with the content that she was given and she's the reason I give this movie a 3 instead of a 0.