Review of Eternals (2021) by Cutloso — 05 Nov 2021

If you are the type of person who could watch a soap opera about fireworks, this is the movie for you. Hollywood is no longer about entertainment, it seeks to "educate" us all.

The so-called Marvel universe seems to be having a contest to see which director can make the least entertaining movie. This one is at least in the top three. Thor probably as bad or even slightly better.

There was a time in Hollywood when a story was made into a movie. The goal of the movie was to tell the story, and the goal of the story was to interest and entertain.

Those days are long gone. It doesn't look like there will be any more originals like Witness for the Prosecution, King Kong, Star Wars Episode IV, Interview with a Vampire, et al. The same with TV, no more shows like The Sopranos, The Wire, etc., stories that were interesting and had good, believable actors bring them to life.

I haven't seen a good movie in years, and the last best TV series was Lost, which they figured out a way to ruin by the last episode.

Now everything is simply special effects and loud explosions. It's one thing when a missile slams into a target, i.e. Something real affecting something else real, in a way that people can understand. Now we get crap like constantly unfolding cities in the twisted reality of Dr. Strange, or massive spacecraft shuttling super-high tech warrior to other planets to engage in knife fighting like in Dune.

Let's not forget wokeness, which is literally in every contract now, so if they made a movie about the rise of Adolph Hitler, it would be told from the perspective of woke, LGBTQ Nazis in a way that demonstrates history and reality no longer matter. Take Once Upon a Time In Hollywood, a "fictionalized" account of something that really happened, and not even a very good one. That's what we get today, incessant drivel surrounded by poor storylines, loud noises and flashy special effects.

I'd rather watch a silent movie about a butterfly emerging from its cocoon in full color than ten thousand exploding spaceships smashing into Superperson's chest while "nonbinary" characters "correct" everyone's knowledge about pronouns.

I can also do without preachy people making gun movies. If you are anti-gun, don't make a movie that includes guns. If you do, at least learn basic gun safety and treat the gun with the same respect you would anything that kills. I was 5 years old when I had my first gun, and before that I had to learn that a gun is always loaded, even when it is not. Never point a gun at someone unless you plan to kill them. Guns are not toys.