Review of Feast (2005) by Brian S — 13 Aug 2016
- It's like From Dusk Till Dawn, but a little gorier, and has Henry Rollins instead of Salma Hayek. This is acceptable to me.
- Ok. 5 people in the bar just died very terribly, everyone's screaming, and the 72yo barfly's like "Meh. Tuesdays.".
- Oh my. His face just kinda...went away.
- The name of the shotgun behind the bar is called "The Judge.".
- This movie is funny as hell.
- Not that part. That was gross even by my standards.
- "Relax. We have a shortwave radio.".
- Ok. I had to pause it to write this next part out. Everyone inside the bar just discovered that the 2 monsters outside terrorizing them are now having sex doggie style outside. Barfly dramatically clicks her keyfob to end the car alarm caused by the monster's shenanigans.
- Oh, he doesn't look so good. I think he's, well, I think he's dissolving.
- The pretty girl completely soaked in blood, got naked to clean off, is soaked in blood again. I see a theme here.
- "What're you gonna do? Throw your teeth at em?".
- Henry Rollins is now talking all righteously motivational...while wearing pink sweat pants.
- HAHA! The "dead" woman they decided to wire with explosives as a distraction is now kind of alive. #rookiemistakes.
- That's...different. The monsters are now using Henry Rollins as a battering ram.
- And, sports fans, if you'll note that halfway through the movie, the barfly has quietly put out her cigarette and locked herself in the walk-in freezer. The only person at the end of the movie that can claim being alive, no blood on her, has all her limbs, and hasn't fired a gun.
This review of Feast (2005) was written by Brian S on 13 August 2016.
Feast has generally received mixed reviews.
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