Review of Howl's Moving Castle (2004) by Debrissance — 17 Jun 2021

I am ENRAGED First of all, the stereotypes are KILLING ME. Poor country girl who thinks she's ugly just because she doesn't wear makeup is being hit on by men, saved by a charming prince figure, who then shows up to his house and cleans it like some snow white rip off. The "master of the house" sees that as normal, is emotionally and mentally immature as seen in the little back story with having a child's heart, or when he was about to destroy the entire house because his hair color changed. He is seen as the bread winner and LITERALLY GOES TO WAR.

Tell me it's based off life in the 50's without telling me it's based off life in the 50's.

Second, this girl gets cursed for NO REASON WHATSOEVER by an evil witch who looks like an important character, who then is dehydrated and turn into their grandma? Somebody tell me how this makes sense because it just doesn't. Same grandma who stole the heart to EAT IT basically threathening the entire movie.

Third, cursed girl whose curse is irrevresible magically transforms back at certain parts of the film and at night with NO EXPLANATION.

Same girl who leaves her hometown doesn't get any homesickness and even when she gets back she has no intent portrayed to visit her home. The mother visits her, doesn't realize her daughter's an old lady, and tries to sabotage the whole thing because of her new rich husband because a husband is more importanf than your daughter who has been missing and is also an old lady.

Fourth. Will you please cut me some slack on the love story? If this movie was supposed to be a love story then let me tell you, they failed MISERABLY. NOT ONCE did Howl have a conversation with her, so the idea of "looks don't matter, personality matters" is completely dismissed. And I'm sorry to break it to you but the only actually good explanation is that he has a thing for old people In conclusion, people GET YOUR S**T TOGETHER THIS MOVIE HAS NO PLOT, IS SUPER STEREOTYPICAL AND A SNOW WHITE RIPOFF, MAKES 0 SENSE AND THE ENDING IS ABSOLUTE GARBAGE. THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TEDTALK.