Review of Imagine Me & You (2006) by Agathra — 29 Feb 2020

Spoilers up to 40 minutes in when I quit, but frankly, there's not a lot to 'spoil'.

I'm so disappointed. It started out promising - with a fast paced beginning, an interesting 1st/2nd encounter between Luce and Rachel and an encounter between Rachel & H, and an entertaining family unit - but about 40 minutes in I'm so BORED of the storyline. We've met a handful of characters who are ALL more fleshed out than the two main characters. Like SERIOUSLY throw the camera on cactus guy, please, I want to know that story. I want to find out if pregnant GF finds her groove and tosses her BF to the curb. But Luce and Rachel? What am I supposed to grab onto there? I know NOTHING ABOUT THEM! Let's run down the list:

Luce: works in (owns? manages? unclear) a flower shop. Gay. Single.

Rachel: Newlywed. Likes a couch (couch does not appear to add anything to story, hers or overall).

Heck: Newlywed. Works for a slimeball company under a slimeball boss who makes him be a slimeball too, hates it & wants to quit. Wants to travel & write travel book. Enjoys cooking but is not good at it. Appears to enjoy trying new things.

Rachel's mom: overbearing, bossy, obsessed w/appearance, both physical & social. Consistently embarrassed by husband/flummoxed by H.

Rachel's dad: calm, easygoing, doesn't let his wife's sharp comments bother him, for the most part. Enjoys doing things even if he's not very good at them (speaking, dancing).

Rachel's sister: Real name Henrietta, nickname "H" after "Jesus H. Christ" based on what her mom said upon discovery of being pregnant w/H. Insatiable need for answers to difficult questions.

Coop: Heck's slimeball BFF, an amoral selfish self-absorbed misogynistic **** who everybody not only tolerates but seems to like (no reasons ever given to ?s like "why would a gay woman he's constantly pressuring to **** him smile mildly at those comments then share her heart with him").

Cactus guy: obsessed with finding a perfect flower for what he calls a "last chance" - likely to make up for infidelity based on his aversion to red roses once told they represent fidelity. Passes on lilies, birds of paradise, settles on... a phallic cactus, suggesting whoever he's apologizing to will be swayed by remembering his girth and/or his ability in bed? (or he thinks they will).

Pregnant woman: tries to put on a good front about pregnancy, but terrified about bf's reaction. BF is a control freak - relationship likely abusive, or at very least, super imbalanced partnership. Luce's response to this, btw, does not help: she comes off as cold and uncaring and more interested in getting the sobbing pregnant woman to get out of her shop and her life than in the woman's obvious distress and fear.

Rachel never interacted with anyone except Luce/Heck after the opening scenes. We watch a woman we know nothing about being obliviously gay for 40 minutes instead of being obliviously gay while doing SOMETHING, ANYTHING FOR THE LOVE OF GOD for 40 minutes.

Luce's interactions, as above, are bland or cold. She seems find with Coop trying to pressure her into sex, refusing to take her home when she tells him no, having coffee with him while he, having met her at the wedding for 2 minutes and then had a brief and unpleasant dinner with her and then refusing to drive her home when she told him to, tells her in WAY TMI detail about his ****-who-I-want philosophy and makes more suggestions she should **** him AFTER being told a) she's gay and b) she's not interested. She freezes up around Rachel. She has a 2 minutes conversation with Heck where we find out about HIS hopes and dreams. She freezes up around the pregnant woman. She ignores cactus guy as soon as Rachel steps in her store.

Just...the only likeable person in this movie is Heck who is, pardon the pun, charming as Heck, and at 40 minutes in I realized that there was no way I wanted to watch him slowly get his heart broken in favor of a boring romance for a couple of cardboard cutout characters. Which annoys me because it's goddamn HARD to find gay romances in mainstream media. If you want a sweet gay romance, I suggest But I'm A Cheerleader for f/f, and Were The World Mine for m/m. Both are a bit quirky but they have much better characters that you can actually get behind and cheer for, and are super sweet romances.