Review of Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023) by Rebelon1 — 03 Jul 2023

Even the mediocre Applebees meal was not as depressing as this "free" show was. I really loved the original franchise, but it, like my 1970 LTD is long gone. Always good to see Ford, but he was either victim of the old "bait and switch" or his $20M payday made this humiliation worthwhile.

First 15 minutes-OK..Polar Express looking people on a similar train. Enter Phoebe Waller-Bridge, hands down winner of the "woman you love to hate award". Snotty, supercilious, grating,grafting, dishonest and vainglorious all at once, she has the sex appeal of Olive Oyl and the temperament of Bea Arthur.

Indy desecrated, defamed and debauched. I can think of 20 plot lines where a lettered college professor/ex OSS archaeologist adventurer MIGHT have had an interesting retirement. I would be interested in his autobiography! Instead we get him boozed up in a Barc-A-Lounger in his BVDs.

Degrading. I'm not going into the plot-it's out there to read such as it is. The writing is so puerile and peppered with anachronisms. Indeed, it seems like it was written by a committee, cut and pasted then heavily ad-libbed.

None of the clever wit or twinkle of the early films. Just a slog. Direction adequate but lighting was awful in many parts probably to hide iffy CGI.Three brief gems for those who will see this on Disney+ in August.

..(1)Ford recounting the tragic death of his son shows his undiminished ability. (2) Sallah has a cameo which is the only returning character-except (3) Karen Allen (made to look as haggard as possible to suit the vanity of either Kennedy of Waller)shows what real screen chemistry can be-but only after a 2 3/4 hour $330M boondoggle of boredom.

A pox on Disney. I hope Kennedy's well-deserved retirement will be as bleak, bereft and depressing as she depicted Indy's. Avoid this trash. It'll be on TV post haste.