Review of Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023) by Itsaname — 24 Jul 2023

A joyless romp with momentary highlights of nostalgia. The opening with young Indy gave me hope, but much like the sour elderly Jones I too quickly fell into despair. Nothing in the film justifies its existence and each scene merely passed the baton in a relay of mediocrity. It commits the greatest cinematic sin of being boring, and makes me yearn for simpler times of at least being able to laugh at Shia swinging with the monkeys.

I don’t think I’ve seen a film ever so blatantly hate it’s own core conceit. When Jones spews positivist refrains about archeology being a science and dismissing mysteries and wonder, the director dispels any magic the franchise might have had left. That calculating scientific approach might explain the hollow formulaic script, with unlikable characters and cheap sets that makes me appreciate the crystal skull in a whole new light.

I cannot help but ask why does this film exist? For what crime are we being punished? The film closes with the question to Jones about what he would change about the past, the answer should be obvious — never make this movie.