Review of Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018) by Mike5215 — 24 Jun 2018

JW:FK is a disappointment on several levels. The second and third acts in particular feel more like a relentless aural and visual assault than cohesive story-telling. The script is barely there, so the performances are barely there, and all of it is in service of cramming in as much implausible dinosaur mayhem as possible in what feels like an interminable run time of two or three days.

Like all of the JP sequels, to the extent JW:FK has a plot and characters, they're all plug-and-play versions of the original. The kids in danger, check. The Great White Hunter, check, the moral lesson (don't mess with Mother Nature), check, the spunky but terrified computer whiz, the secret plan to make military dinosaurs... I guess to replace the less lethal sharks, lions and bears that currently form a large part of our armed force...check. And in the end there's the obligatory T Rex roar signalling the accounting department at Universal to immediately begin funding another sequel, to be directed by a guy with a **** YouTube channel.

And disregard the trailer entirely. That's not the film you're getting.

Wait for this one on Amazon or Redbox. It'll be there fairly soon, and it's probably a fun toss-away and you can play around on your phone during the dumb parts. Tip: Charge the battery fully.