Review of Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018) by Connor G — 18 Jul 2018

Very underwhelming. From the beginning, the story was the same rehashed plot from the last 4 Jurassic movies. Man wants dinosaur, man forgets what happened last time man wanted dinosaur (x4), man tries to get dinosaur, man dies.

I understand that there's only so much you can do with a movie like this, but come on... so boring. Also, you want me to believe that a girl in her early 20s is an expert on Paleontology medical procedures? Nursing a velociraptor back to health? Read that last sentence again, it sounds like an onion article.

"Girl (age 23) calmly nurses velociraptor back to good health. Also, how in the heck did the people on the boat NOT notice an armored military transport vehicle ramp onto their boat as it sailed away from the dock? No one noticed that? Not one person? They actually snuck onto the boat? Ok maybe that's a one off, maybe no one was around or everyone in that vicinity happened to deaf and blind.

Then you bring the dinosaurs back to Cali (cue the beach boys) and attempt to sell them to mega rich men and women as a live hunt experience? Give me a break. Show me the customs declaration that reads "2 tyrannosaurus rex, 2 Velociraptor, 1 Triceratops.

" Uh sir, i'm going to have to check with my supervisor on this one." Some may say they could sneak them into the country..... yeah that would be interesting to observe as all it would take is Homeland Security and Coast Guard to take a 10 hour lunch break on the entire upper west coast of California.

I could go on all day, but i'll stop. We loved Jurassic Park because it felt like it could happen... it didn't feel too far from reality, But come on, a billion year old volcano happens to pick the one day, err hour.

.. that they are trying to steal dinosaurs to erupt? And somehow Chris Pratt and his cronies don't get a black eye from a falling chunk of mountain? They dodged a volcano? Nah, i'll stick with my virtually assisted tour in my Ford Explorer please and thank you.