Review of Mars Attacks! (1996) by Matm — 30 Jan 2021

You know how sometimes when you revisit a movie after a long time, you discover that you can now appreciate that movie in a way that you just couldn't when you were younger? Well, that was not my experience with Tim Burton's “Mars Attacks!”.

I just watched it for the first time since I saw it in theaters 25 years ago. I remember really not caring for the movie then, and I figured maybe I just wasn't sophisticated enough to appreciate its brand of camp, but it turns out that it is even worse than my memory served.

Every single role in this film is filled by an A-lister, but no one is given any material to work with. Christina Applegate, who was coming off of 10 years delivering zingers on “Married… with Children”, has zero lines of dialog.

Jack Nicholson is doing his best to vamp up 2 roles, but when the writers give him nothing interesting to do, it all falls flat. I laughed zero times during the movie (not even a smirk), and I appreciated none of the story beats.

Just so you know where my allegiances lie, I tend to absolutely love half of Tim Burton's films, while I detest the other half. I think you know which category “Mars Attacks!” falls into for me.

Whatever you do, do not watch this movie. It is so bad it is bad. Let's collectively forget it ever existed and watch “Ed Wood” instead. “Mars Attacks!” gets an F - Reserved for movies with absolutely NO redeeming value.