Review of Morbius (2022) by Pepesilviamorb — 29 Aug 2022

Before I saw this morbsterpiece I was asleep, in a coma in fact. I had been in one for a decade, my family had given up hope. My girlfriend had moved on and gotten engaged, I was one of the living dead, alive only in that I had a heartbeat.

My dreams were abstract, surreal, like a prized Picasso. But then, one day, one fateful day, the nurse assigned to me was discussing Morbius with my dear family, and how she hoped to be able to see it quickly since it might be out of theaters soon.

It was as if my brain was rebooted and all the lights came back on, I sat up straight and looked her in the eye. ‘Morbius, Dr. Michael Morbius has a movie?’ I whispered. ‘Yes’ she said. Dear friends that was enough for me, I leapt out of the bed and half walked half glided to my nearest theater.

As I sat watching this picture I remembered how sweet life was and how I was like Morbius, who I think is a vampire. When he delivered his legendary ‘It’s Morbin time!’ I morbed into tears and started morbing all over everybody.

Morbius is not a movie, it is a morbxpierence and one that everyone should have the chance, nay, the privilege, to watch as many times as they like. Since that day I have experienced Morbius at least 69 times a day and in time left over have gotten my life back.

I crashed my girlfriends wedding and just morbed all over everyone. Obviously she took me back in a second and her ex-fiancé gave us both his blessing and encouragement. I’ve reclaimed my old job and have gotten promoted thanks to Morbius Team Morbing activities.

After a few more watches I truly believe I will discover the mysteries of the universe. Get morbing my friends.