Review of Mutants (2009) by Jason D — 11 Mar 2010

In Mutants, the seedy Braylon (Richard Zeringue) owns the Just Rite Sugar Company and has hired the equally sadistic scientist Sergei (Armando Leduc) to conduct an experiment to make an addictive sugar stronger than heroin or nicotine to increase his sales.

Sergei uses hobos, junkies and street walkers as test subjects in the town of Shadow Rock Mill. When Braylon's men mistakenly kidnap Ryan (Derrick Denicola), who is the brother of his secretary Erin (Sharon Landry) and son of his security chief Griff (Louis Herthum).

Ryan becomes an important non-contaminated subject. However, Erin receives some mysterious e-mails from the unknown Cinderella with a picture of Ryan and a hint that he might be in Shadow Rock and together with her father, they decide to seek out Ryan, but not without lots of corrupt security men and corporate villains after them.

Oh yeah, at some point, a few zombies walk around. Literally. Don't let the current DVD cover fool you. That creature NEVER appears in the film. The original poster (with a close up of someone in a gas mask, is a bit more accurate.

Cult genre actor Michael Ironside (Total Recall, Starship Troopers, The Machinist just to name a few) shows up for a few scenes as a leader in a top secret agency sent in to save the day...I guess. This movie is beyond awful.

A complete waste of my time. I feel retarded for not doing my research before hand, because if I had known that Mutants was directed by the same hack who did Carnivorous (aka Lockjaw: Rise of the Kulev Serpent), I would have stayed far away from "Mutants".

Horribly titled, horribly directed, horribly written film.