Review of Nursery University (2008) by Bridget P — 06 Feb 2011

"Nursery University" reeks of inauthenticity and suffers from an obvious lack of participation from its intended well-connected blue-blood subjects. Instead, we get:

Aleta St. James, a single mother with twins whose son has some learning issues that will preclude her from applying to any competitive programs for either of her children.

A chill downtown couple who, if not directly coaxed into entering the admissions fray for the sake of the movie, were certainly not the type of rabid parents the film purported to be about. The resolution to their story only reinforced my belief that they weren't serious "game players.".

A wealthy but unconnected (and not unlikeable) Upper East Side couple whose voracious research was mildly interesting.

A lower-income woman whose best friend, an admissions consultant, had what seemed to be a strong working relationship with the head of the only school the woman's child applied to.

Heidi Moon, whose story is the only one that comes close to reflecting the admissions hysteria the directors hoped to convey. A rich NYC-outsider with no alumni connections to top nursery schools, it is both uncomfortable and grossly satisfying to watch a woman used to getting her way squirm and sweat her way through a relentless quest to secure what she believes she is entitled to.

Most irritating (and also, as is the case throughout the film, most entertaining), was Gabriella Rowe of the Mandel School, the only admissions head with the chutzpah to speak openly about the process. You may be shocked by what she is willing to say, behind closed doors but in front of a camera, about each family as she passes judgment on their applications , but perhaps she knows that enough people want to go to her school that she can say whatever she wants and people will still grovel at her feet for the chance to pay 5 figures for a pre-school education.

It makes sense that in the delicate dance of nursery school admissions, neither side would want to rock the boat by appearing in a documentary about the subject. But without that level of participation, Nursery University falls flat.