Review of Robinson Crusoe (2016) by Lawrence H — 10 Sep 2016

Sadly, the best I can give this movie is 1.5 Icees (out of 5). This movie was made by a small studio in Belgium (insert waffle jokes here). I don't know what goes for a kids movie there, but there are things here that I believe are necessary for a good kids movie.

The first is that there has to be humor. With the rare exception, this movie lacked humor. So rare in fact that I think I heard laughter in the theater only once. Well, "laughter" is perhaps too generous a word.

More like a chuckle. There were only 4 families in the theater, but one of them had 4 kids (they really need to figure out what causes that) and none of them laughed once. The kids ranged from probably 3/4 up to pre-teen and.

.. nothing... nothing at all.. The chuckle came from a kid that was about 4 rows up from me and for all I know she may have been laughing at something her mom told her. Another thing it needs is a cute/lovable hero.

Nope, not one of those either. There was a character that has a cute voice, but it was an ancillary character and really didn't contribute to the movie at all. How did this even get 1.5 Icees? Well, the cinematography was nice, and I've read that it looks really good in 3D.

I didn't watch it in 3D and I'm glad I didn't spend the extra money to do so! Another thing in its favor was that there is a decent peril/action scene near the end of the movie that is somewhat exciting, but nothing that makes you hold your breath or anything.

During this "attack" scene there was more opportunity for humor but once again... nothing. The movie tells the story of Robinson Crusoe from the island animals' point of view. The concept sounds like there could be a lot of potential, but it just never panned out.

They try a few times for some humor, but it lands like wet spaghetti falling on the floor. *Splat* The story move along well enough, and that's really all it is... a story, and a pretty dull one at that.

Basically, this was a miss... and a pretty bad one. If you're looking to take the family to a movie, I recommend waiting until the 23rd and going to see Storks. At least that one seems funny. There are some stills during the credits but nothing afterwards.