Review of Rumble in the Bronx (1995) by Jonathan P — 04 Jan 2011

I watched Rumble in the Bronx in the hope of seeing a "serious" (American-released) Jackie Chan movie. It wasn't quite that. The overall feeling of the movie is a little more sober than, say, Rush Hour, but Jackie Chan's character, Keung, is the same as all his other characters - a well-meaning but bumbling fool that comes to the USA as a total fish-out-of-water and inevitably gets caught up in trouble with local thugs.

The plot, acting, dialogue, characters, and basically everything else are completely disposable and worthless. The movie starts out pitting Chan against a group of biker thugs - and these thugs are some of the most vicious, odious villains I've ever seen in any film. The way in which they pillage and destroy so ruthlessly and OPENLY - they do their dirty deeds in BROAD DAYLIGHT, for chrissakes - is completely outrageous (as it's meant to be) and it's almost farcical how the police are conveniently never around to stop them. In a just world these people would not only be arrested, but convicted and sentenced to death, and would be executed not by something pansy like lethal injection or even the electric chair, but by woodchipper, as was done by the true pros in this movie (as I'll explain next).

Then, in the middle of the movie, the plot suddenly diverts to these stereotypically mysterious-looking "high end" thugs who are out to get Keung after a botched diamond sale. Now we're supposed to believe that Keung and the thugs make up and become best buddies, allied in the cause of fighting against these business-suited bad guys whom we just met and know nothing about but are supposed to hate anyway. Hell, I was ROOTING for these Men in Black when they fed one of the thuggies to a woodchipper - the whole gang should've ended up the same way.

This movie has absolutely no depth or intelligence - it's a completely brainless piece of work resting precariously on a string of clichà (C)s, stereotypes and hackneyed, hokey plot and style elements. The complete lack of ANY kind of substance - I mean, even really bad movies often at least have a bit or two of it - makes the movie feel ridiculous, like a child's cartoon. In fact, that's pretty much what this movie is - a random collection of action and noise designed to amuse those who are too dumb to know better.

The one saving grace that's supposed to completely redeem this movie and make it worthwhile to watch are the action scenes - this was Jackie Chan's American debut and the first time most American audiences had seen him. The action scenes are great but they're typical of Chan's style: Chan is heavily outnumbered and fights a horde of opponents one-on-one; he's blisteringly fast and uses improvised weapons and furniture. To someone who's already accustomed to this it's not as impressive, and deprives the movie of a major selling point that would've worked back in 1996.

Alright, in all fairness I'll allow this movie two things. First, it held my attention and didn't get boring. There are other movies, the ones I reserve my 0.5 star ratings for, for which I can't say the same. Second, Nancy (played by Françoise Yip) is kinda hot, especially when we see her in a bikini at the club.