Review of Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022) by Thequietgamer — 19 Feb 2022

You know what the dumbest trend in modern horror is? These legacy sequels in long-running franchises that retcon all of the other previous follow-ups inexplicably having the same name as the original film they're intended to serve as a direct continuation of. Seriously, I'm SUPER excited to now have the exact problem with Texas Chainsaw that I do with Halloween, where when I tell people I've watched it they have to ask "which one?" because they don't know if I'm talking about the first, the reboot/remake, or the "new one." For real, when this inevitably happens again for something like, I don't know, Friday the 13th or A Nightmare on Elm Street would it kill someone involved to come up with a subtitle to help avoid confusion please?

Anyways, as for the actual quality of this thing, the whole point of these projects is to sort of course correct a brand that, after getting off to a fantastic start, gradually lost its way with each passing installment. With that being the case, you'd think this would have done a better job of not repeating the mistakes of the prior successors. Yeah, Tobe Hooper's classic was a sick, twisted little film, but what makes it so uncomfortable for so many even after all these years is more than just the torment its characters suffer. It's the underlying context of the deranged lunacy and savagery lurking on the fringes of society. At least as far as I've seen, everything that followed managed to overlook that while going heavy on the blood and violence. Exactly like this does.

Still, while it misses what should have been the whole point of its creation, it's hard to fault this too much as a slasher. It's about as deep as a puddle and brings nothing terribly creative to the table, but it's got the gore, grime, and a few entertaining scenarios. Honestly, the aspect that's going to bug people the most is the new political tinge. The movie blatantly acknowledges the U.S.' present day struggle between warring ideals of change and keeping with the status quo. There are those who are going to take issue with how the protagonists mock conservatives for their guns, Confederate flags, and vehicular emissions. Meanwhile, others will be bothered by how most of the victims are socially progressive, cancel culturing liberals. There's enough here for you to come up with your own take on whether this leans more to the right or the left. Personally, I think it delivers an "everyone sucks" mentality and ridicules both halves. So what people will find offensive is that it doesn't pick a side. Their side.

Ultimately, this effectively fails to pay homage to the 1974 version's legacy. Yeah, they brought its heroine Sally back, but couldn't recapture its meaning or significance. Instead simply giving viewers another generic slaughter flick to add to the pile. Not entirely an awful thing as it means there are still a nice amount of grisly thrills to enjoy, but if you've been fed up with everything else this property has offered over the past two or so decades then this is entirely skippable.