Review of The Covenant (2006) by Timeofthechimps — 20 Nov 2015
The plot is atrociously awful and makes absolutely no sense. These guys have mystical powers based on some cult thing or something, the characters can repair stuff but it makes them old (what?), and that's basically all you know from that point on because the film never bothers to explain anything except through stupid magic scenes.
I hardly knew anyone's name until 10 minutes after the halfway point, for crying out loud! The characters make no sense whatsoever. Two of the guys go through some gate and steal a professor's notes, because the professor is stuck on some car crash case which he somehow automatically knows was one of the magic guys.
Some scenes are useless or just plain stupid; two "friends" use their powers to race each other but no one else but the viewer notices. One friend turns on the other because he wants his powers because he's some kind of half-a$$ed "chosen one" which the film doesn't bother to mention at all up until this point.
Some guy punches another guy in a locker room for absolutely no reason. There's some cheesy fight scene at the end overblown with bad CGI and crappy early 2000s music, then... wait for it... the main character fixes a car window with his magic to end the film.
Seriously, that's all that happens. Bad acting, horrible plotting, and nonsensical scenes make this one of my worst watched films of all time. Watch it for a hilariously bad gem... or, rather, don't. You'll save yourself a lot of pain and suffering.
Like having the urge to stab a straight razor into your own eye. No, I'm dead serious. It's that bad.
This review of The Covenant (2006) was written by Timeofthechimps on 20 November 2015.
The Covenant has generally received mixed reviews.
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