Review of The Curse of the Jade Scorpion (2001) by Ken S — 10 Mar 2014

The Curse of the Jade Scorpion sounded good on the surface because it had Woody Allen combining elements of noir and comedy into one film, and as usual it was lined up with a talented cast.

The Curse of the Jade Scorpion fails to feature one of Woody Allen's better screenplays. The dialogue doesn't seem intelligent or believable, but rather simply full of a lot of generic Woody Allen language elements without any of his good ones. It's a basic one and isn't that bad, but it doesn't match up to the quality expected of the man who has been nominated 16 times for the Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay, more times than any other person in existence. That includes 4 wins.

And second of all, the story lacks originality or creativity. It loosely follows a single plotline while also being jam packed with too many characters for its own good, so the focus of the viewer is likely to be lesser than the actual focus of the film which itself is pretty poor. The story constantly finds itself getting distracted by too many characters and subplots. Since The Curse of the Jade Scorpion is Woody Allen's biggest budgeted film, it seems like he had a lot he intended to do with $26 million which he failed to turn into a good story or intelligent script in lieu of colourful visual elements thanks to his style of filmmaking. Honestly, The Curse of the Jade Scorpion is quite a vain project and cannot be looked upon as one of The Curse of the Jade Scorpion but instead as an example of his early to mid 2000's career slump.

The Curse of the Jade Scorpion is essentially a routine comedy from Woody Allen, and so it isn't clever or funny. But also for one that intended to be a homage to film noir, it barely touches upon it. The costumes are the only elements that really do it, as well as the musical score bringing a light touch to it. But ever other element of it feels way too modern such as cinematography, language and production design. No matter what Woody Allen intended, guessing the noir element of The Curse of the Jade Scorpion is too difficult to identify and so why Woody Allen even bothered is just senseless. Woody Allen is really not able to construct a good film out of The Curse of the Jade Scorpion regardless of his good intentions, and he doesn't really succeed in any area which is a shame as he is the writer, director and actor in the film all at once.

Woody Allen's performance is a routine one unfortunately. Although it seems as if his protagonist character is inspired by the sophisticated Humphrey Bogart, instead of combining his charm with the usual Woody Allen neuroticism he instead just plays Woody Allen in a suit and hat. It succeeds as much as Woody Allen's bare minimum effort really can, and while his performance is confident and dedicated, it is nothing new and not one to be enthusiastic about. His performance fails to reach up to the quality of his performance in the 1972 romantic comedy-drama Play it Again, Sam where similar elements were touched upon but felt more original than they do when falling back into The Curse of the Jade Scorpion. At least he is able to acknowledge that casting himself in the lead role was a seriously bad flaw for the film.

But thankfully, the rest of the cast prove to give more refreshing performances.

Helen Hunt's lead performance in The Curse of the Jade Scorpion manages to keep things together. As female protagonists in Woody Allen films always tend to be interesting, it is always required that the actress be up to par in holding a lot of talent. Helen Hunt shows off that exact talent which a few years prior had won her the Academy Award for Best Actress. Her performance combines an energetic physicality with a passionate line delivery, and her chemistry with Woody Allen manages to brighten the dull mood of the film a bit at times. Helen Hunt's talent for playing a lead actress manages to make The Curse of the Jade Scorpion better than it could have been without her, and so there is flaw in casting her.

Charlize Theron's seductive performance is both ripe with visual sex appeal and the line delivery of a sexy Hollywood legend like Rita Hayworth. While her career had yet to take off at the time she made The Curse of the Jade Scorpion, it is undeniable that her talented effort is a memorable one.

Dan Akroyd's performance is somewhat routine, but his charm is plenty sophisticated so it brings energy to The Curse of the Jade Scorpion and gives him a platform to remind us of the talents he has as an actor which made him a hit in the 1980's and scored him an Academy Award nomination for Driving Miss Daisy in 1989. His presence is a genial one.

I was also happy to see Elizabeth Berkley's name on the credits in The Curse of the Jade Scorpion because although she is considered less of an actress and more of a joke for her performance in the 1995 failed blockbuster Showgirls, Woody Allen tends to be able to bring out the best in everybody. And so for Elizabeth Berkley to be presented with such an opportunity in a supporting role she finds herself showing her true acting talent in a restrained performance where she looks too different from Nomi Malone in Showgirls for many people to make notable comparisons, and her brief screentime manages to prove effective.

So The Curse of the Jade Scorpion is not a good film. It is a routine comedy which does too little with a budget that is too big for Woody Allen to know what to do with, so it ends up as a vain and unoriginal project which is unfunny and just plain scattered.