Review of The Last Stand (2013) by Joanna B — 24 Oct 2016
It's time to make a stand and dedicate this review to the unsung heroes of B-grade action movies. Often overlooked for their cartoon-esque violence, tongue-in-cheek humour, desperation for gore and wildly unrealistic stunts, classic action men and movies are a dying bread, or at least an aging one.
In his first post-gubernatorial leading role, the five-time Mr Universe and seven-time Mr Olympia and, nowadays sixty-five still larger-than-life superstar, Arnold Schwarzenegger manages to fill every inch of the screen.
Although his almost indecipherable one liners are less script, more career cannon, his face has been injected with enough Botox to qualify as an addition to Mount Rushmore. The "Austrian Oak" remains an immovable object and the very definition of an all- American action man.
Having seen enough "blood and death" on duty for the LAPD, Sheriff Ray Owens (Schwarzenegger).
Resigns himself to the quiet life in the sleepy border town of Sommerton Junction.
He is called back into duty when notorious drug lord Gabriel Cortez (Eduardo Noriega) takes.
Sexy FBI agent (Genesis Rodriguez) hostage and hurtles them towards the Mexcian border.
Cortez's fierce weaponry laden army of minions are in the process of constructing a bridge across.
The narrow ravine separating Arizona and Mexico for his illegal border jump.
As the last line of defense for the whole of U.S. law enforcement, Owens' summons a motley posse; eager but inept deputies Mike Figuerola (Luis Guzmán), Jerry Bailey (Zach Gilford) and Sarah.
Torrance (Jaimie Alexander), Sarah's former boyfriend and current jail resident Frank Martinez.
(Rodrigo Santoro), and a local gun nut come pseudo-museum owner Lewis Dinkum (Jackass's Johnny Knoxville) whose treasured possessions prove to be extremely useful.
Knoxville's interspersed humour is his usual brand of fun gross out and cringe-worthy, especially when bantering with Arnie, whilst eye-candy Santoro and everyone else serve their purpose by simply coasting along.
The Verdict: From Real-Life Governor to Small-Town Sheriff, this crunching collision between.
Law and order hits every expected note from an enjoyable old-fashioned tune-out shoot-out.
Published: The Queanbeyan Age.
Date of Publication: 01/03/2013.
This review of The Last Stand (2013) was written by Joanna B on 24 October 2016.
The Last Stand has generally received mixed reviews.
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