Review of The Lobster (2015) by Shininglion — 18 May 2020

Should've seen it coming when the A24 logo flashed at the beginning. Everything they produce is overlong, slow, pretentious, boring, and dumb, the type of movies where they just point a camera at people doing nothing or the most absurd/exploitative thing they can think of and then the demented types who enjoy these kinds of films tell you you're a braindead idiot if you didn't "get it" and derive great meaning from the 2 hours of brutality, **** and nothingness.

Every time I've seen one of their films I feel like I'm just looking into the creators' mental illnesses, and not in an enlightening way. I can safely say I'll never watch another A24 film after three bombs in a row with this, The Witch, and Hereditary.

Films like these are indicative of the problem with our lost, bored, consumer culture of people leading directionless lives where they feel no self-empowerment to create meaning in their lives. These aren't art.

They're film-school dropout trash that appeals to the most lost minds. The moral always seems to be self-defeating, encouraging viewers to become depraved to escape the challenges of life. Utter **** There's no skill involved in creating these movies aside from an occasional well-framed shot.

The acting is deadpan to the extent non-actors could pull it off, and the use of classical music tricks naive people into thinking they're watching something artistic and distinguished. The fact that they got a child involved in this demented production shows you the morals of the actors.

I hope they didn't let her watch it, though its still an injustice that she probably someday will, and will resent a lot of people for creating the childhood illusion of excitement to be in a movie, when it's such a **** movie.