Review of The Magnificent Seven (2016) by Vishal K — 26 Dec 2016

I'm not sure we needed another Magnificent Seven, but I enjoyed watching Denzel Washington's bounty hunter with a grudge Save the Town from Peter Sarsgaard's ruthless, Wild West capitalist.

In fine Western tradition, an angry, grieving Haley Bennet sets events in motion after Sarsgaard guns down her foolish but brave intended. And before two hours have elapsed, she's in pants and firing a rifle.

Washington's Union Army veteran has an ugly story in his pocket, waiting for the right moment to play that card.

Chris Pratt's gambler, con artist, and gunfighter is an entertaining if sometimes grating Southern type: think Doc Holiday without the lung condition.

Vincent D'Onofrio's mountain man seems just grateful to have company, even if it means embarking on a suicide mission.

Manual Garcia Rulfo's pistolero teases Ethan Hawkes' beaten-down Confederate sharpshooter about all the Texans his abuelo killed at the Alamo.

Byung-hun Lee's assassin doesn't get to do much but amazing hand-to-hand and knife combat--not that he doesn't know how to shoot. I remained hazy about how Lee's business relationship with Hawke drags him into the fight, since the reward is modest.

Martin Sensmeir's exiled Comanche, Red Harvest, evidently has a death wish and decides this war is as good a way to go as any. But what's with the Stars and Stripes tattoos? is working for Yanquis how Red Harvest got exiled in the first place? We never know.

The town then of course becomes the site of a minor war, with locals facing a private army bearing rifles, pistols, and a Gatlin gun. Yet the besieged have the advice of seven of the Wild West's most seasoned killers, guiding them in the digging of trenches, the laying of mines, the setting of ambushes. Carnage naturally ensues. Cue Ennio Morricone theme.

I think I'm glad this version exists, but I feel like I should go back and watch Seven Samurai and the Yul Brenner Magnificent Seven, just to remind myself of what they offer. I certainly remember Seven Samurai as a more amazing, more visceral experience.