Review of The Shallows (2016) by Juliankennedy23 — 17 Feb 2017

If you ever wondered what would happen if Asylum gave someone talented the $8.60 to make a SyFy movie. And that person actually hired other people who were talented, and sticking with the stringent parameters of the Syfy channel (must have a girl in a bikini and a shark preferably a giant flying one) made a movie. Well, wonder no more. The Shallows is an Asylum movie with good CGI, effective direction, gorgeous cinematography, talented acting and a serviceable script. The lack of campiness in the movie is actually a smidge of a drawback as one takes very seriously what is essentially a shark attack movie. And since we take the movie seriously its third act flaws are only more apparent. If the movie was staying true to its tone it certainly should have opted for a darker more realistic ending. Instead, it goes off the rails with a shark that turns into Jason Voorhees and a heroine that might as well be holding a chainsaw.

I liked the seagull and I have never found Blake Lively more appealing and I find her ability to wear a bikini bottom the entire movie somewhat brave. The wife was convinced it was Chris Cooper as the father but it turns out it is Brett Cullen who is a by appearances a discount Chris Cooper. He needs to ask for more money. I am pretty sure abandoned surf beaches in Mexico lack both Uber service let alone such good cell phone service. I am also positive that most sharks would ignore you with such a big easy meal floating 50 yards away. All that said the film is very well done and acted and while the story doesn't include a flying giant octopus or comic relief I think it would make a good Syfy movie. A very good one indeed.