Review of Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017) by Tia S — 25 Jul 2018
There is just something missing. The main characters constantly push out cheesy dialog that could have been made up by a computer program channeling old B movies form the 70s. They also have no back story, all you will ever know about them during the movie is, that she is a constantly annoyed impolite bitch who treats everyone around her with disdain and that he is for reasons unknown very attracted to that.
She looks as if someone is holding a dead fish under her nose during the whole movie. If the Characters where half way likable or even just a bit funny, the audience could run with that. It could be a witty banter, much like Princess Leia and Han Solo, and they are clearly going for that and just can't get there.
The conversations are flat and shallow, the insults are just mean and annoying instead of funny. Agent Valerian never takes up the banter, all he has to say when insulted is " will you marry me" over and over and over again.
And why does all the human cast consists of middle age men wearing military Uniforms from the 80s, while the main characters are dressed like lollipop teenagers and look about 12 years old ? Does the future in this universe hold no women in any position except that of a sidekick and annoyed love interest?
This review of Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017) was written by Tia S on 25 July 2018.
Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets has generally received mixed reviews.
Was this review helpful?
