Review of Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017) by Filipe C — 08 Apr 2018

Seeing scenes such as Valerian take down multiple huge enemies in close combat was one of the ridiculous & fantastical things about this movie, Dane does not suit the stereotype "look" of the overly cliched character he plays, he would be better suited to playing a teenager in a Chronicle sequel or something.

I had to try far too hard to suspend my disbelief,.

Not due to the cgi or plot at all I should point out,.

It was almost entirely just to stomach any single scene showing Dane as an "action hero/badass".

Hearing other people compare this to Besson's (much better work) 5th Elemant makes me feel baffled at best.

While I can see the parallels visually, this film is not in the same ballpark,.

It is poorly cast and lacks the same calibre of actors that kept me hooked on the 5th Element in the first place, and due to technology in the 90s, the lack of permenant green-screen in 5th means i'll always have to rate it higher than this snoozefest of a movie.

Bruce Willis was infinitely more believable as a sci-fi military hero type than Dane.

(funnily enough both Korben Dallas and Valerian are both Majors, is this some huge Bowie-reference conspiracy?).

(final note: Gary Oldman being sinister&manic with dripping goop coming from his weird plastic headpiece > ethan hawke as a prancing space-pimp).

Also...FOR A FILM THAT LITERALLY HAS "THOUSAND PLANETS" IN ITS TITLE AND SEEMS PRO-DIVERSITY, IT HAS A SHOCKING LACK OF ANY NON-WHITE HUMANS AT ALL FOR SOME REASON?!