Review of War for the Planet of the Apes (2017) by Jesse O — 09 Jan 2019

You know, I threw this idea around last year (I think) with my review of Mad Money and that was coming up with a few to do some really quick and short (like less than 300 word) reviews for one movie per week.

It never came to fruition, as it should be obvious. I think I drone on for far too long on purpose, subconsciously. Like my brain is not satisfied with a review if it's too short for one reason or another.

Regardless, it's something that I should SERIOUSLY consider doing now as a result of the fact that I don't have a lot of time before I watch another movie tonight and I fucking HATE not finishing a review prior to watching that night's movie.

It makes this feel like work since it's piling up. I have to finish the prior review and then review that night's movie. It's too stressful for me. Regardless, this is being written on Notepad on Windows, as my internet is being a fucking dick tonight (and will be for the next week or so, though I'm hoping it won't) and I cannot watch either Netflix, Amazon or any other streaming service.

So I need to churn this one out quickly. I won't, but I probably should. With that said, I've always found the idea of a "summer camp"/getaway/etc framed as if you were actually in a horror movie to be an interesting idea.

One that I would probably, if I had the money, engage in gladly. This movie uses that as its concept and it's one that I was intrigued in seeing how it played out. I seem to always say this a lot, particularly when it comes to movies that attempt to subvert the usual horror (slasher in this) tropes and how they go about it.

In relation to this movie, however, this isn't quite as clever as You Might Be The Killer and even I had a lot of issues with that movie. In fairness to this movie, however, I don't think this was meant to be as cute and winky with its narrative as YMBTK was.

Interestingly enough, this is more of a deconstruction of Alex's relationship with Nathan and how Alex's past, she was a drug addict, catches up to her in some really serious ways. I think the movie works best whe it is exploring their relationship and how Nathan, someone who worked at the rehab she went to, might not actually be the best for her and her health, in spite of Nathan's desire for Alex to be sober.

To that end, they explore her relationship with Jared, who was also a drug addict, and how he, in spite of his addictions, truly, legitimately cares for Alex. How they explore this dynamic within the setting of the slasher getaway (or whatever you wanna call it) is surprisingly really interesting.

This is a MAJOR SPOILER but, essentially, the whole Slasher Sleepout is orchestrated by Nathan, whose friend owns Slasher Sleepout, in order to test Alex's dedication to him and their relationship.

He goes so far as to kidnap Jared and make him a part of the game. All to test whether or not Alex is truly committed to their relationship. But the lines between what's real and not are blurred as a result of Nathan's psychopathic behavior.

He tells Alex to legit kill Jared to prove herself to him. When Alex refused, Nathan just ended up doing it himself. I find that to be really good, it's just that getting to that point (this is literally the last ten or so minutes of the film) means sitting through a lot that, in the long run, ends up being unimportant as this was all an elaborate prank on Alex until Nathan reveals his true intention.

I do think that robs the movie of its impact. In many ways, this is very much like April Fool's Day except, at the end, it ended up being all too real for Alex. And I guess that's the movie's point, but I don't think the horror is truly that great to begin with.

I think to make this work, even if it ends up being an elaborate prank, the horror has to be on another level. And this movie's horror isn't that great. This might be as a result of its budget, who knows, but it just didn't really lend itself to me truly investing in what these characters are going through.

I like Alex as a character, I think she has a really interesting arc and I do think the movie has some cool ideas about Alex's relationship to Nathan and Jared, but they leave those for way too late in the film for it to make any real major differences.

The cast is perfectly decent, if inconsistent. Larry (I think) is the smarmy, jokey horror fan and he's a bit annoying. Everyone is kind of a stereotype and that's fine, given the result of the Sleepout.

I don't know if this review is long enough, I can tell much better on GMail, which is where I normally write these reviews, but I think that's enough for this movie. Decent concept, decent execution.

I just think the payoff of it being an elaborate set-up by Nathan to test Alex's commitment to him took too long to get to and the horror we got to get to that point isn't really that good enough to make up for the film's relative lifelessness.

It's still a decent enough movie, but I don't think it's ever gonna be seen as anything more than that.