Review of Witless Protection (2008) by Harry W — 12 Dec 2013

The technical errors in Wiltless Prediction are too amateur, with the stupid editing techniques and poor sound editing combined with crap effects which throws the entire experience off, even without the stupid script.

But that proves to be the downfall of Witless Protection because for some reason director Charles Robert Carner thought that Larry the Cable Guy's flatulence could last 99 dreary minutes of running time. Witless Protection feels like a comedy sketch stretched over features length running time at the expense of any clever writing or humour whatsoever. As much as Larry the Cable Guy tries, he is not fit for the lead role in a live action feature length film, particularly one with such horrible writing and directing. There is no passion in Witless Protection, except for Larry the Cable Guy, and even he doesn't shine much of a bright spot on this sorry excuse for a film which has stupid writing, pathetic characters with lack of motivation, and above all no sense of fun. Witless Protection is an abysmal failure.

But what really pissed me off was that one of the key reasons I watched Witless Protection was because it featured Jenny McCarthy. Yet despite her receiving top billing and a featured spot on the movie poster, she doesn't even receive five minutes of screen time in Witless Protection and even then she has little to work with, so why they even bother using her name is a waste.

And the only benefit Ivana Milicevic brings to the screen is looking vaguely like Natasha Henstridge, the attractive female from species. But since Witless Protection couldn't even take advantage of a former playboy model like Jenny McCarthy then of course it's not going to do anything for Ivana Milicevic. It does nothing for anyone, not for its actors and not for its audiences, so Witless Protection is a film I would advise you not to waste any of your time with.